Screwdrivered

ScrewdriveredScrewdrivered
by Alice Clayton
Published by Simon and Schuster
on September 2nd 2014
Genres: Sexy Romance
Pages: 320
Sex: two-stars
Overall Grade: B


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By day, Viv Franklin designs software programs. By night, Vivian’s a secret romance-novel junkie who longs for a knight in shining armor, or a cowboy on a wild stallion, or a strapping firefighter to sweep her off her feet. And she gets to wear the bodice—don’t forget the bodice.

When a phone call brings news that she’s inherited a beautiful old home in Mendocino, California from a long-forgotten aunt,
Whoa, whoa, I can't take this gritty realism... she moves her entire life across the country to embark on what she sees as a great, romance-novel-worthy adventure. But romance novels always have a twist, don’t they?

There’s a cowboy, one that ignites her loins. Because Cowboy Hank is totally loin-ignition worthy. But there’s also a librarian, Clark Barrow. And he calls her Vivian. Can tweed jackets and elbow patches compete with chaps and spurs? You bet your sweet cow pie.
Well, unless you fancy having a dry and painful fuck session with a deeply closeted member of the Village People, then yes.

reviewAlice Clayton is one of those authors I ‘get’ but I don’t really read. I appreciate that she writes very well, and she’s cornered the market in snarky, witty, modern smut. But I love my smut when it isn’t all-that-modern (outrageous chauvinism, borderline kidnapping, caveman grunting – that’s me!), so I tend to avoid her genre. But I do love a good librarian…

Viv Franklin is gifted, and obsessed with romance novels. She lives a pretty charmed life (wealthy parents, a tidy little nest egg on account of her creating a money-spinning app, she’s a talented artist) and the charm is ratcheted up a notch when she inherits a run-down beach house when her great-aunt Maude pops her clogs. Viv is understandably delighted, and it doesn’t take much to convince her to pack up and head off to California to sample the delights of the west coast. But! Old Maude’s house is actually pretty historically significant so she can’t send M. Cyrus Contractors in with a wrecking ball and some finger paints. No! She must consult with the local librarian and historian, Clark. He’s dusty and fusty and musty. But, happily, he’s also lusty. But never mind Clark! There’s a hot cowboy on the grounds that Viv is dreaming about. The cowboy fits perfectly in her adventure dreamscape, so she pursues him relentlessly.

Now, when I read about a cowboy and a librarian, I thought this was a love triangle, but it’s really not. We’re never in doubt as to what will happen, and Clayton never makes us warm to the cowboy for even a second. Clark, on the other hand, is adorable and hot and intense. He’s not a shove-you-out-of-his-way-to-get-to-your-vagina alpha, but he’s quietly forward and charming. There isn’t much sex (one scene), and I think Viv’s active imagination and vivid dreams are supposed to fill in the blanks (but they don’t, really). It’s super-readable and funny, so if you’re into witty contemporary but without a ton of sex, this is for you.
Eagle

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Cocktail Series
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Falling In

Falling InFalling In
by Lydia Michaels
Published by Berkley
on September 17, 2013
Genres: Erotica, Sexy Romance
Pages: 337
Sex: four-stars
Overall Grade: B-


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With a dark past that would have shattered most people, Evelyn “Scout” Keats is doing what no one in her bleak world thinks possible—getting off the streets and leaving her impoverished life behind. She’s a new maid at the luxurious Patras Hotel and aims to keep her job no matter what. But that doesn’t mean she’s going to sacrifice her dignity, or let anyone into her heart. The risk of losing either is just too great.

When hotel tycoon Lucian Patras discovers Evelyn in a compromising position, he uses everything at his disposal to seduce her—a proposition that both surprises and frightens her.

Ignorant to her true circumstances, Lucian relentlessly pursues Scout as a prize to be won. But he is soon given an unforgettable lesson in love and sacrifice when he learns how far Scout has gone to gain her independence and discovers that there are some things money can never buy.

reviewScout, homeless, cold and illiterate, has a bit of a shit life. She also works in a hotel which I always imagine is dreadful – cleaning up after strangers and having to always be polite and subservient. Poor Scout has it bad. And her name is Scout, which makes it doubly bad. When our heroine is assigned the hotel’s penthouses during one shift she’s floored (hotel joke) by the opulence she sees. She floored (again, hotel joke) once more when the room’s occupier comes back while she’s still in the room. Said occupier, Lucian Patras is the hotel owner. As he is a rich, handsome man and as this is a romance novel, he makes Scout a proposition. She will become his ‘escort’ and she in return will get to enjoy his presence and penis. It’s kind of a shitty deal. She doesn’t get any money upfront, she just gets nice clothes and orgasms. And let me tell you, I’d like to see those orgasms keep you warm when you’re sleeping under a bridge, fighting off crazed crackheads. But Scout acquiesces.

I know what you’re thinking: are these my real boobs? Yes. And I know what you’re also thinking: haven’t we read these stories a zillion times before? Also, yes. But this book was very enjoyable. Lucian was a bit flat and he went from zero to ‘I love you. Let me breed you’ in a flash but his affection for Scout (particularly towards the latter half of the book) was sweet. Scout, I liked. She was proud, stubborn, savvy and hopelessly innocent. She was clearly a miles better person than Lucian (who had a nasty view of homeless people/addicts, I found) and had an endless well of (platonic) love and compassion. Actually, Scout was almost the only really good character in the book. Her mother was a nasty piece of work (but heroin will do that to a person); her BFF Parker was a manipulative and judgemental asshole who fancied himself to be in love with Scout; Lucian (see above); Lucian’s friend, Slade who was an appalling dickhead… the list goes on.

Overall this book was great in terms of how it was told. I found some characters to be a bit difficult to pin down and I found it hard to root for Lucian when he seemed to be so selfish (but only in the beginning). But this is only the first book in the series, and we’ve already got a great set up for the next.

P.S. Holy shit the sex is amazing. Actually, maybe read this book just for the sex. It’s that good.

Eagle

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The Surrender Trilogy
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Taking Control

Taking ControlTaking Control
by Jen Frederick
Published by Indie
on September 2nd 2014
Genres: Erotica, Mistress Approved, Sexy Romance
Pages: 280
Sex: five-stars
Overall Grade: A


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“I get wet thinking about you,” she whispers. Her legs shift restlessly under me. I know what she wants. She wants my tongue. My fingers. My cock. And she’ll have it all.

After reading book one in this two book series I was DYING for the next one. While the first book is a semi-cliffhanger it stops in a good place (not a relationship cliffy.) Thankfully we didn’t have to wait too long for the next book. Taking Control starts out pretty soon after the first book ends. I think there were a couple of weeks that passed, but the author does a fantastic job of catching you up on anything you may have forgotten.

“But you have so much come. Sometimes I can’t swallow it all. Sometimes it spills out the side of my mouth and dribbles onto my chin.”

I checked and the length of this book is the same as the first, but it still felt like SO much happened in this one. This book is mostly from Ian’s perspective and it was great to get to see things from his POV. You can feel Ian’s obsession with Tiny and ultimately his need to have her forever. I loved how primitive and base his thoughts were. He wanted to feed her, clothe her, and have her permanently attached to his dick. Tiny is still her strong independent self who refuses to be bossed around, BUT as the relationship progress you can see that Tiny begins to soften to Ian. She sees that forming a bond doesn’t mean giving up power and by allowing herself to be taken care of she only becomes stronger.

I’m too horny right now to lick her slowly. I need to feel her orgasm all over my face, to have her thighs clench my head in a vise grip, like nothing is ever going to separate the two of us.

The sex in this book is so fucking great. There is sweet love making, but JESUS the talk makes it so much hotter. I kept highlighting stuff and sending screen shots to Eagle and Mistress M while I was reading it. This author is a dirty dirty girl and I ate that shit up! There are tons of scenes and they are all detailed. I never felt like there were too many/too few. It was the perfect balance of build up and release… see what I did there?

I’m going to come all over her belly if I don’t get a handle on things. And while I seriously enjoy seeing her warm skin dotted with streaks of my milky cum, I want to be inside her and feel her pussy walls convulse around me.

Overall this story had everything I could have wanted. It’s only a two book series, but I can see the potential for more spin-off stories. I felt like there was a lot happening and as the reader, there was a lot of guessing until the end. I liked that there were parts of the story hidden to the reader until the moment it was revealed. You weren’t told everything that was going to happen before it happened so it was awesome to have a surprise. If you’ve read the first in the series you won’t be disappointed with where it goes. If you are seeing this for the first time… GO GET IT! By far one of my top reads this year.

L

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Kerr Chronicles Series Order
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Jared’s Virginity + Massage With Happy Ending

Jared’s Virginity + Massage With Happy EndingJared's Virginity + Massage With Happy Ending
by J.B. Brooks
Published by Ellora's Cave
on July 30th 2014
Genres: BDSM, Erotica
Pages: 247
Sex: four-stars
Overall Grade: C


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The first book is Jared’s Virginity – where Jared (our alpha male in book two Massage With A Happy Ending) is a young 19 year old looking to get his cherry popped. Out of the two books, this one was my favorite. It’s different and I like how the author says – even an alpha male was a virgin. I loved getting his story and seeing how he developed his kink at a young age. It’s short at 66 pages, but you get a feel for the guy our heroine falls for in book two. While Jared looses his virginity to a slightly older woman who teaches him some dirty tricks… it’s not a love connection. He saves his heart for Lolly.

“Feel all this cream. You’re very excited, aren’t you, Lolly?”

Massage With A Happy Ending was good. It didn’t blow me away, but I enjoyed the story. Lolly is trying to break out as a serious journalist and decided to interview a sex worker and write an article about it. On her final day of the interview the sex worker asks her to take part in a “massage with a happy ending.” Lolly says ‘why not’ and decides to give the incoming client a rub down… all for the good of the story, right?

Turns out Lolly’s sexy customer is none other than our alpha, Jared. Shocking right? Who else didn’t see this coming? I digress… The basis of this story is that Jared is so taken with Lolly’s hand/bow job that he pays double. Because that’s what you do when you fall for a prostitute. You pay them more than they are charging…It’s like a compliment or something. So they all part ways none-the-wiser of Lolly’s deception. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Lolly’s rich friend taking her on a long weekend get-away with a bunch of her husbands rich friends…. you see where this is going right? So Jared is there and hires Lolly to be his professional hole for the three days. Lolly agrees because she has been wanting to hop on that cock since day one. Their story goes on from there.

“Mine,” he whispered darkly.

I feel like I should issue a warning with the sex in this book. The author refers to them as pervertables… but you would call them everyday household items. Pervertable are things like candles, spatulas, flower vases… basically any object you can fuck a woman with. Yes, Lolly gets fucked with a plethora of tchotchkes. Turns out it’s pretty hot, but in a weird erotic way. The sex is steamy, and true to Brooks’ form, plentiful.

The story goes on a bit too long for me at the end, and I skimmed over some of it. While I enjoyed them as a couple and liked the kink, it didn’t blow me away. I think had the ending been cut down some and a few more twists thrown in I might have been more engaged. As it stands, it felt predictable. I would still recommend this book because I ate up the first part and the sex in the second was crazy! I kind of wish the first book would have kept going… Maybe virgin alpha books are my new obsession?

L


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Jared’s Virginity + Massage With Happy Ending
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Billionaire Unmasked

Billionaire UnmaskedBillionaire Unmasked
by J. S. Scott
Published by Indie
on August 26th 2014
Genres: Erotica, Sexy Romance
Pages: 210
Sex: three-stars
Overall Grade: D+


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I’m a giant fan of the Billionaire’s Obsession series. In fact I even own them all on audio and am always super eager for the next release. The series just has this sweetness to it that I can’t seem to get enough of. In the last book, Billionaire Undone (my favorite in the series to date) we got a sneak peek of the hero Jason for Billionaire Unmasked. I was pumped! He seemed like he was head over heels in love with our heroine and was going to do anything to get her back after she snuck out when they finally spent a night together. I’m sad to say, the hero I met in Billionaire Undone was not the same as the hero I met in Billionaire Unmasked.

The book started off on an odd note when we find out Jason Sutherland got Hope Sinclair drunk with the express intent to bundle her into his private jet and essentially kidnap her in order to fuck her out of his system. This would be great if we loved the hero (you know we love kidnapping and borderline abusive stuff) but he has such an attitude problem that it just came across as entitled and angry. He’ll do whatever it takes to have her because he has a giant need to fuck her. No he doesn’t want to break up her and her fiancé because he loves her; he just wants to sate his need for her finally then part ways. He believes he’s doing what’s best for her because her fiancé is lazy bastard that should get a job (no he has never met said fiancé). Once he gets her back to his place he plans to keep her there with blackmail.

Hope was an easy heroine to like, but at times I didn’t understand her. Early on we can tell something happened to her and the rape flags are all over her causing me to be very much in her corner. She’s a free spirit just trying to live her life without her overbearing brothers making her decisions and getting through some of the very real pains of her past. Then in swoops Jason, the man she has always harbored a crush for since childhood, being as he was her brothers’ best friend and very close to her family. But like I said before, Jason isn’t there because he has this need to be with her forever he just wants to fuck her. This is hard to take when our heroine is so damaged.

Jason comes off like a spoiled brat for most of the book. I spent the first fifty percent of the book clenching my jaw disliking him. I was frustrated and even debated putting it down. I never understood or got why he had to be built this way. Furthermore, I felt lied to. The Jason I met in the previous book all but said he was in love with Hope when he was in Travis’ office. This Jason was not that man. As more of Hope’s past and struggles came to light it only made me resent Jason more for how he was treating and trying to use her. I also didn’t understand some of Hopes actions when it came to Jason. She seemed like she was such a strong woman, but when it came to Jason she seemed to let him get away with murder and I didn’t understand why she loved him anymore. He didn’t seem like the same person she knew when she was younger.

I think my biggest problem with the story was it didn’t feel like it went with the tone of the other books in the series. There were still lots of sexy scenes (which I couldn’t really get into) and of course a happy ever after, but I was left feeling gloomy when I finished. I didn’t get the JS Scott sweet happy cheese high that I normally get when I finish one of her books. In fact, when I went back to look at my highlights I noticed I didn’t have ANY! Even with this one missing the mark for me I will indeed be picking up the next in the series. There are six books in the series so far and this is the only one I disliked…. Can’t win them all.

Mistress M


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The Billionaire’s Obsession Series Order
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